Saturday, August 6, 2016

Reflections

Yesterday was not what I would call a good day.
I had to say "See you again soon" to women I love dearly and see far too rarely, and then I had the joy of spending 10 hours in bumper to bumper traffic on four hours of sleep with only the voices in my head to keep me company. On the plus side, all those hours alone in the car provided me with plenty of time to reflect on the events of the last few days. Heck- the last few years even!
A friend of mine just posted an article on FB today about why you should always travel to see your favorite bands. This is something that I have struggled with for years. I have a very difficult time justifying spending so much money on something that only I benefit from when I know that there are so many other things our family could use that money for. I always feel guilty. This trip helped change that for me, and the article reinforced the conclusions that I had come to during that long drive home yesterday.
On Wednesday afternoon I got into my car and drove to Brooklyn, NY to visit with my friends and attend a one night only New Kids On The Block concert at the new Coney Island Amphitheater. The tickets were a birthday present from my family. My friend Amy worked with my husband to make sure that I would have a great ticket and that I would be with my friends. Shortly after our plans were made, Amy lost her mother somewhat unexpectedly. I was fortunate enough to have spent a weekend with Amy and her mother a few years ago. I adored Ginger. She was an amazing woman, and a terrific mother, and my heart broke when Amy shared the news of her passing. I was immensely grateful to know that Amy and I were going to have this time together. We don't get to be together often, but I consider her to be one of my closest friends. I needed to hug her & love on her.
As the trip grew closer I became a bundle of nerves about the drive. Heavy traffic makes me anxious and I have an intense dislike for big city driving...but I hadn't seen my friends in over 3 years and I wasn't going to let a little bit of anxiety stop me from doing it now! I kept close tabs on the GPS directions so that I would have plenty of time to prepare for any turns and tried to stay as relaxed as I could.
As luck would have it, I ended up arriving in NYC just as the sun was setting behind the skyline. I was filled with a sense of tranquility as the hot pink sun peeked out from behind buildings and bathed the city in the most gorgeous pink light. It was stunning. The photographer in me was crying over the fact that I couldn't just pull over and capture the magnificence (and that I didn't even have my camera with me in any case). I allowed myself .02 seconds to wallow in regret before realizing that this was a gift that needed to be appreciated in the moment. I took in as much as I could while still driving and made a promise to myself to never forget the beauty.
A little while later I was reunited with Amy, and introduced to her friend Susan who was also going to be staying with us. We hit it off immediately and spent most of our time together laughing. The three of us dealt with missing hotel reservations and a giant lack of parking, and then settled in for a night of catching up. We talked, reminisced, laughed, and really just enjoyed each others company (at least I hope they felt that way too!)...we made wonderful memories.
Thursday morning we resolved the parking issue for the remainder of our stay, prepared for the show, and waited for the rest of our friends to arrive. Once everyone was accounted for, we spent more time making great memories, and then headed to Coney Island to take in the sights before checking in for our VIP pre-party. We ran into more old friends at the party & had plenty of time to chat with everyone while we waited for the meet & greet session to begin. It was a beautiful afternoon.
My friends all knew that it had been over 3 years since the last time I had been able to speak to Joe in person, so even though we had 5 "Joe girls" in our group, they made sure that I would have the opportunity to stand with him during our photos since they have all seen him more recently, and would be going on to another concert this weekend as well where they would have a chance to see him some more. We found out from the groups ahead of us that Joe was standing farthest from the entrance, so I made sure that I was one of the first people in so that I could say hello to the rest of the guys and then get out of the way for everyone else before ending up next to Joe for the photos. It worked out perfectly, except that I really had no idea what was going on behind me with everyone else. Joe and I had a nice conversation and hopefully didn't exclude my friend Tina TOO much! (Thank you for letting me monopolize Tina! I really didn't mean to)
There wasn't anything extraordinary about the conversation. It just felt like 2 friends who hadn't seen each other in a long time bumping into one another on the street on their way to somewhere else. Our time was limited, but we were happy to see each other (again- totally making assumptions here, but he seemed happy to see me too). I won't go into details because it is Amy's story to share or not- but the guys were all very good to her. They knew her Mom and were saddened to learn of her passing. It was an emotional moment for all to say the least.
I was separated from the rest of my friends for the show (stupid Ticketmaster), but ended up with a terrific seat! I traded my original seat with someone else so that she could sit with her friends and wound up a few rows back in the center section. When it was finally time for the main event, it became immediately apparent that this show was going to be special. The guys started off the show by coming out into the audience to get up close and personal with the fans. We were showered in a torrent of confetti, streamers, and beach balls in the first few minutes. This was going to be a party that none of us would soon forget if NKOTB had anything to say about it. They completely switched up their set list from the past tours, and brought in special guests galore. The most notable special guest by far was Tiffany. I didn't expect to feel so many emotions about seeing them share a stage together again- but I definitely got choked up. The moment that really pushed me over the edge though, was when Donnie unexpectedly announced that he was dedicating the song I Need You to the memory of "Momma Little". Instant sobfest. I hate that I couldn't be with Amy for that moment, but at least I got to share it with her in some way. Joe found me in the audience a couple of times and rewarded me with smiles that lit up his face and my heart. Then the show was over and reality started to creep back in on us all like fog at dawn in the spring.
I reconnected with my friends and we started our trek back to our hotel. Our journey was full of stories, laughter, friendship, and joy...and just a touch of sadness that it was over for now. We made it back to the hotel and stayed up far too late for a group of middle aged women who would need to get up early in the morning.
And now I guess we're back to the beginning of this tale. I said my farewells to my friends and they headed off- some for home, some for the next leg of their adventures. I tried in vain to catch a few more winks, and then I set off for home- excited to get back to my family again. My trip was a long one full of bright red taillights and frustration. Then I finally made it back into Maine and smelled the clean, crisp air and began to relax again. Once again, the sun was setting just as I was finishing my journey and my home was bathed in soft pink light. It was a vastly different scene from the one I witnessed 48 hours before, but equally tranquil and beautiful. I was instantly filled with a sense of immense gratitude for this beautiful life I have the pleasure of living. Gratitude for my wonderful friends and the amazing memories we share, gratitude for a generous and loving family who allow me to have these adventures and support my dreams, and gratitude for the ability to take in and appreciate these gifts that I have been given.
People frequently ask why I go to so many shows and spend so much money on these concerts. As I witnessed the sun setting on this latest adventure I realized that the reason is LOVE. Pure love...and I am so grateful for all of it.